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Monday, January 9, 2012


I believe this life should be joyous. So I've had a web of tangled thoughts over the last while. Let me see if I can untangle them enough to make sense:
Sometimes, as women, we are so much the ultimate caregivers and nurturers that our "cups run dry". We give and give and give so much that we eventually feel like we have nothing else to give. But often if we are around the right people - people who are givers, themselves, our cups fill up and never run dry. We can continue to give because we're also receiving. It's a good healthy relationship that is filled with give and take.
Some people I know are not really blessed with those healthy relationships where they receive - they just seem to give. So, some of these women actually end up moving on to other relationships, knowing that they should feel joy in this life. They search for others who will actually help to fill their cups.
As I've thought on this, I've come to believe that it's possible to be a giver - even in unequal relationships - and still find joy. Here's why: Yes, the cup needs to be filled. But I believe there are ways to fill the cup even in an unequal relationship. When one looks at life analytically, one should find that joy, true joy - not superficial, comes through service. Real Christ-like service = joy. It is unselfish, it is loving. It is service that requires nothing in return - not a "thank you", not equal consideration, not even a smile. Real service might sometimes be exhausting, but when done in the right spirit it brings joy.
But because we're human, we all need our cups filled. Here are ways I've thought to fill our cups without expecting anything from another person:
1- Prayer. If you don't believe prayer can fill your cup, you haven't prayed intently enough.
2- Temple and Church Attendance. The peace and the learning that can take place in these sacred edifices will fill a cup to over-flowing.
3- Journaling. Writing down feelings somehow purges the negative, making room to absorb the positive
.4- Random Acts of Kindness. Weird, isn't it - how doing nice things for random people (I'm not talking about taking care of the people you love and are close to) fill us up?

Ok. That's all for today. I've just been around some really, really good people who seem to be constantly giving, not getting back in return, yet still joyous. So I've been doing some introspective and some outward researching and these are my findings :)

I've also been thinking about my blog. For a bit of time I was really concerned about followers and comments - and hoping to someday soon start making money from blogging. That's all gone now. If people want to read this, great - I hope it's worthwhile. I've always wanted Silver Strands to be inspirational - a place where people can find and share good things. I still want that. But in the past I also wanted popularity and even income. No longer. This blog is taking a turn. It's going to become more "real".

Still thinking of my blogging friends and hope all is well with you!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. I am a big believer in Random acts of kindness. It's amazing how fabulous you can feel by doing something simple.

    And don't even get me started on paying it forward... it's addictive. :)

  2. Replies
    1. Brookie - I'm wondering if I hit this "reply" on your comment if it goes to your email. Will you let me know? Love you!

  3. As someone who previously worked as a blog editor professionally, I can relate to the desire for followers and income. I've also tried to let go of that notion when it comes to my personal blog, and to write simply for the joy of doing so. Good for you!

  4. i think you hit the nail on the head. some people are givers but need others to refill their cup. others are takers - always on the take but never willing to give. then, there are others (like you) who give never expecting anything in return because you know how to refill your own cup.

    i felt the same way about blogging, too. i'd still like to make money but if i don't, then so be it. i also keep a personal journal (paper/pen) that has things for my eyes only.

    love to do random acts of kindness. i've neglected that a bit lately but i'm fixing to get back into that.

  5. This is an important topic - how to feel fulfilled in an unequal relationship. It is definitely possible and leaving one's spouse in order to find someone who will fill your desires is just a pipe dream.

    The Lord gave us many avenues, as you mentioned, to find fulfillment. He will show you what to do if you ask Him. I felt very bored and discontent last year, but I prayed and believed he would do something for me and he has filled my life with friends from Blogger, my writing and many other things. I can't thank him enough.

  6. I agree. Joy, service and generosity all come out of the same center. The Greek for "joy" is "char" from which we get "character".

  7. well I have always enjoyed reading your blog. I like the ones that are "real"...about peoples lives and how I can learn something from their experiences.
    I have been hearing a lot since December about SERVICE. I need to make sure I am among the ones that DO....